WHAT DAY IS IT

the water lilies drifting in the pond while the blue sky and clouds hanged above. i stand in the middle of these fields with endless boundaries. like a dream that kept us alive, the wind blew by. there you are standing right next to me holding my hand. how wonderful it feels to just have you by my side. with nothing else to worry, with just you here in my heart. all else doesn't matter, all else doesn't matter.

as long as you love me.

THE SWEET LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE

the late nights we stayed up together just waiting for each other to fall asleep even though we are miles apart. the times when you would call to say good night. the days when we always wait for the days when we would see each other. the moments when there was no need to speak because we both know. we love each other so much that if either one was to leave, we'll never be complete.

how long has it been since love has knocked on my door. how long has it been since you'd knocked on my door. i don't keep track of your footsteps because i don't want to follow anymore. i'm always left behind in the race when everyone else's so far in front. i don't want to lose to you.

i want to win you. i want to be the one carrying the trophy in front, while you follow close behind. i'd rather it be like that. because this will never happen. i'll always walk beside you.

everytime i close my eyes and saturate my mind with your smiles.

i know deep inside.

you are all that i ever wanted.

ACCIDENTAL DROPLIGHT

some people believe that love happens when it's least expected. we all accidentally fall in love. and of coz it's out of goodwill as we all know that all actions are justified in the name of love. but there are times when we end up at the lowest point in our lives and love never seems to appear. we start questioning if cupid's slacking somewhere or it's simply not the right time for love to appear. we pick ourselves up, we get used to being alone. well singlehood has its pros and cons. at least, there's only me, myself and i to worry about. isn't it?

love makes us laugh, love makes us cry. most of the times love fills us up, but there are times when love leaves us empty. leaves us all broken and alone. everytime a heart breaks, a star fades in the sky. but everytime a heart is mended, a star is reborn. whenever you look up at the sky, you'll see stars. sometimes you don't because the sky is too bright. simply not meant for the naked eyes to view. some things are meant to be seen not with our eyes, but with our hearts.

we fill ourselves up with cliche sayings. but isn't it just wonderful to simply believe? to forgive and trust again. to love, and be loved again. second chances are the most beautiful gifts we can give to somebody else. but at the end of the day, why can't we just pamper ourselves a little and give ourselves a second chance?

everytime we lose our faith, it means a cut off from happiness. and when we lose faith in ourselves, there's nothing much we can accomplish anymore. pick up the broken pieces and cast them aside. there's so much more awaiting for you to discover and find.

if you want love,

believe.

MOTIONLESS

imagine how it'll be like if the stars were to start falling from the skies and when we gaze up, we see a furious shower of bright lights luminating the whole dark night. imagine how it'll be like if we were to travel in the spaceship amongst this shower of fire globes, how exciting it'll be if you and i were to go through it together. how wonderful it is to go through the ups and downs with you.

you stood out amongst the sea of souls, the only one that drew all my attention to. but you aren't here tonight, and i'm in this sea all alone. the crowd drowned my emotions, the music emplified my delusion. the alcohol drunk my sanity, you crowded my entire being. no matter how i try to cast it all out, i cannot for i can never live without you. no, never without you.

a slam on my head against the hard wooden wall, i cannot bleed, my life is still unwanted. i'm painfully walking this road i'm on, struggling to keep up with something i could never comprehend. oh heavens open your door, let this poor soul in just for a little while. so he can rest his troubled soul in the comfort of the angels.

and when i think of you, i find my peace within. because you are my savior, you are my soul companion. if i keep your presence in my heart

i live.

LIVE

the walk towards the twilight forces you to keep your eyes squinted. you can barely make out what's coming at you, to put it crudely, you're half-blind. that's how love makes you. it's like staring at the light and just heading towards it because you're enjoying the warmth of love, the lighted future it brings. love makes you do the craziest things. and it's always justified in the name of love.

likewise a prayer, we hold in our hearts hopes and dreams that we long for to be alive. the reasons we breathe, the reasons we live. we hold in our hearts hopes and dreams that not only long to be alive, but are also the very source that keeps us alive.

if life was easy, it wouldn't have been so enriching, so promising. if life was easy, well, living wouldn't have been such a great thing after all.

all the hopes and all the dreams that i hold in my heart, i long for you. because in your eyes i see

what true love means.

LAVENDER

it's like watching cars rushing on the highway as you stroll down the sidewalk so far away from the road. you tilt your head and gaze at the night sky, counting stars. the breeze swept across your face gently coupled with a little scent of lavender in this winter night, you find peace. the purple flowers blooming across the fields, gentle flakes of snow falling. such a beautiful sight.

the silent whisper of your voice in my head as i tucked my hands in my jacket. i wonder how it'll be if you're here with me. just the two of us sitting on the purple fields holding hands. it'll be wonderful, wouldn't it?

i walked this path never trying to find out where i'm going because living is a process and the end will be whatever it will be. i don't want to care if it's gonna stop snowing or the lavenders gonna wither or the stars might fade.

there'll always be a time when it's gonna snow again, lavenders gonna bloom again, the stars gonna shine again. just like the both of us, there'll be a time when it's just the two of us again. just you and i sitting on the purple fields gazing at the quiet night sky

with you holding my hands.

THE MONSTER THAT ATE JELLYBEANS

unlike the tyrant that baked ham on the stove,
the monster ate jellybeans.

he finished the bottle, watching mad tv.
his favourite was the greens.

like the angel that has six wings,
the monster has six arms.

he used one arm to hold the other arm.
the other two arms to hold the two other arms.

because he is a monster,
he needed self-control.

the other day when he forgotten where he placed the jellybeans,
he overthrown the russian kingdom, looking for it.

and the russian king ordered the knights of amsterdam
to slay the monster who ate jellybeans.

the monster threw a couple of jellybeans on the ground
and summoned the jellyking.

the jellyking ate up the knights of amsterdam
and asked the monster if he wanted more jellybeans.

the monster said yes,
why would he say no to jellybeans?

he took the new bottle of jellybeans
and headed back to his couch.

there he sat, eating jellybeans.
watching mad tv.

this is what i call a mad entry.
and if you read it heh.

you're mad.

I WAS TRAPPED IN THE MANSION

it was damn scary can. i had nightmare again! i was attending a case at this mansion and i got lost. yupz. all alone and this little girl kept following me. ugh she appeared to me like translucent figure that disappears as soon as i saw it. freaky.

i walked in circles for gawd knows how many times and i can never get out of the mansion. the ghosts blinded me. and guess what, my mum came and saved me. :D

but she left soon after coz she had to hurry home.

i was alone outside and managed to get to some nearby marketplace. there were alot of people. weird looking. they looked dead. and it was hazy like fuck. haha. yes you can see the haze. someone told me it's because it was the first day of ghost fest. hmm.

i saw people fighting. yupz a female supermodel and her boyfriend fighting a bunch of police officers. they got caught in the end and i ended up in the front seat of the minivan.

bad thing happened in the van. the girl was trashing the officers behind. she literally chewed on one of them! ugh. the boyfriend disappeared..

and i woke up.

i hate nightmares.

I DREAMT THAT I WAS DEAD

and i was in netherworld. yea i know i'm weird to dream of such stuffs but.. haha my dreams are more exciting than yours! BOO. anyway, i dreamt that my sister and max were there too. lol. i bet it's because max told me to kill him, no wonder i'm dreaming of him dead. as for my sister, well, she probably just dropped by.

anyway, the three of us were scouting this weird building. damn it looks like our average building only must more sleek and hi-tech. gawd. but this place feels dark. there's just something about this place that keeps reminding you that this is the netherworld.

we came across this mama shop. ah yes, and i was hungry so i left them and went to look for stuffs to buy. i browsed for a very long time and ended up with just a packet of bundung. i know it's stupid but whatever, i just felt like drinking it. hahaha.

it was very nicely packed. brown recycled material and pink flora prints and the word bundung. it's very pretty. haha but the stupid thing is it doesn't come with a straw. and ya, i didn't bother getting one from the auntie too.

i rushed to look for max and my sister but they seemed to have wandered off pretty far. i did saw them walking out of the room and walking off in different directions, but i realised that those are holograms that were reanimated to give me clues as to where they have gone. great. it kinda freaked me out a little seeing holograms moving.

just then, max and his friend came back from wherever they went and i overheard them say this. "if your butt has a tattoo. it means you have to go to school."

right after that, we're transported to some place with bright sunny sky and greengreen greens. there is a very high highway though. max asked if i realised that this highway never ends. i looked and agreed. and somewhat deep inside, i realised the irony of death.

i came back here and live again.

and this time, it sucks bigger time because they have stupid tracking devices making sure you do what you have to do! (including going to school) and if you don't perform your tasks, you'll be punished.

ugh. netherworld is scary.

FORBIDDEN LOVE

no place to be
just the girl and him
i guess some things aren't meant to be

how can she
someone who dreams
love somebody who lives upon
an aimless destiny

clip her wings
bring her down
sink him into the abyss of sins
take her soul
overtake her body
she subjected to immoral cruelty
of this boy who doesn't dream

she cried she say
she will stand by him
a burden too heavy to bear
an act no one else understands
she cried this is her dream
a mistaken image
they call forbidden love