RETRIEVE.

i'm feeling the need to grow up again. it's like i've been restraining my thoughts by flooding my daily routines with wholesome plays. i guess i've reached my saturation point. again.

all good things have to come to an end. the ignorance act doesn't work anymore, for now.

school's starting real soon. it is a turning point for me since i'd not been a very good student in college. heh. i'm kinda anticipating the homework, projects and exams.

i guess i'm kinda lost for a while. it took quite a few incidents to wake me up. well, guess it's time to pick up the pieces.

i wanna be good.

seriously.

TAKE HIM.

for you i will.

as we all looked into the skies that are blued ever so beautifully by the reflection of the seas that covered earth mostly, i can't help but wonder if there will be a silver lining behind this already-so-bright scenery.

i wish for a miracle.

sometimes we stare into the mirror for hours, looking at the person looking back at you. sometimes i realised, i don't know him at all. he looks so familiar, yet i never felt close to him. he's a distant reflection of the reflection of my true self. i no longer remember who he is.

he needs to leave.

i wish i could stab myself in the heart, bleed, and die. yes it's emo. no, i'm not acting. it's just that we all reach a point in life when you are so choked, you can't breathe. no, you can't step back and take a breather. i'm standing in the middle of a future of poison and a retreat of death.

somebody, take me away.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

no one can take you away from me.

MY GIRLFRIEND

it's a winning streak,
a moment of victory that boosted his ego
he's a singular past tense of a plural future

maybe lessons ought to be learnt
what is the rightfully wrong thing that life brought us?
the benefit of the doubts.

a crystal clear view of the insatiable crave
for the only reason to believe
that one is in love because he ought to be.

the crusts that fell onto the ground
one would not noticed unless you're stringent
enough to not leave anything out.

a thrust into the chest
left the heart dead,
i guess no amount of revival potion
can revive this

leave it all behind

yeah, i want your girlfriend.

PURSUIT

it's as if i'm trying to reach into this abyss of endless darkness
in search of your heart.

sometimes in the dead silence of the night
when i lie alone in bed,
i think about us
the past, the present, the future.

i guess it is a time like this
when i retreat into the hollow pretense
of truth, hoping to see through something
i wish not to see

how far will you go with me?

i know you love me,
but why can't this facade of mine
that i put up for you be placed down

again and again,
my heart is broken.

and you don't know what it really means
to be me.

it's not the importance of the certain things
that happened or never did,
it is the symbolic meaning of every single one of them

we all speak of scars being the very existence
of why we avoid the obvious
and yet, so many a time
how many of us did take the risk
again and again.

it may be a mere heartbreak,
or simply a broken promise.

but the adverse, disastrous beginning
begins again and again.

when will we learn?

i guess, we never will.