THE PAUSE INBETWEEN RACES

a moment is all it takes for us to take the right step. life passes in a progression and regression pattern. it's an endless pursuit of a greener pasture (referring to one's character in this context). though there are times when we degrade, it does not necessarily mean the next is not an advancement.

we get lost in the midst of the race through life. we let opportunities pass. many times we forget to remind ourselves that this is what we have challenged ourselves to. our priorities are in a mess, time never seem to be on the right pace.

we pity ourselves saying life is bad.

maybe it's just the way we are, always forgetting to appreciate the downside of living. without landslides, who will ever appreciate the greatness of the big trees?

life is like running on a tread mill. you decide what you are training for and you dictate the speed and distance. there might be times when you have to stop running, it does not mean you will never get to run again. sometimes, when life forces you to stop,

it is probably because you need a rest.

BREAKING THE MOULD

be the man that forgives
or suffer in silence.

the good is never easy,
for the bad tempts.

THEY TALKED ABOUT WILD FLOWERS AND HERBS

we distinctively identified the issues raised. unanimously we agreed on the idea of mythological healing. we ascertained that some wonders in the world cannot be explained by science.

the sky lighting up in a luminous glow of green, the leaves turning red in autumn, the birds migrate to the south...

LITTLE BOY

the little boy silently prayed by his bedside
he asked for a little time... he wants to see the sunrise.

awkwardly he moved to the windows,
orange rays were lighting up the dark sky.

his eyes were teary, his heart weary.
but he smiled to a brand new day...

people always think, "why life isn't fair?"
but half the time, they are unaware.

if you were to trade something in your life
for something that was out of it,

will you really be happier?

WHEN YOU LOVE THAT GIRL SO MUCH

when you love a girl, you'll always overlook the many things that she did that go way beyond what you believe in. well, even when you feel like shit, you will still hold her hand (because you really want to) and walk with her on this journey.

now you know, it isn't love when you expect her to be someone you want her to be. certainly, you love her not because she's perfect.

she may be a riot but she's perfect, because you love her.

love doesn't require you to kill yourself or sacrifice any beliefs that you hold onto dearly. all you need is to open up your heart (and mind) and see who she really is, and love her completely for who she is.

may it be a pimple on her forehead or a habit to bite her nails everytime she's nervous.

you love her for everything that she is.

and that is..

love.

STILL

i'm waiting for time to show us what true love really means.

WAIT OUT

you don't know how it feels like
to walk down this street alone.

everywhere i turn, all the memories of you
every song i hear, every movement that i witness

i miss you, i still remember.

you don't know how it feels like
to be doing this alone.

how i have to carry on this
without you by my side.

love keeps us warm,
but i'm cold right now.

you don't know how it feels like
to love somebody so much

they become your life.
and you have to move away

from this harsh reality
that knocked you up.

you don't know how it feels like
when all i can do is wait

wait out this cold.

WHEN YOU LOSE YOUR WAY, THAT'S WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF

i don't really know how long has it been, but i know i've finally found an end to this futile struggle. we all go through this phase, don't we? forsakened by someone you loved. but we all move on and yeah, our hearts heal eventually.

life's much better now, ever since you're gone. i stopped worrying for you, stopped having to protect and look after you. like you said, i'm not matured enough for you. guess you're right. i'm still young and there is so much for me to see and do. i can't be hanging around you like this. it all came to an end last night.

i've started thinking for myself now. there's so much i've neglected all these time while i was so caught up in you. well, like the sugababes' song, "i'm too lost in you." i guess losing you ironically, made me find myself again.

i feel, in such a long time, for myself.

i know i loved you truly, i gave you my everything. i hope you'll always remember this. now, i shall leave all these pieces behind and get going with my life. though this chapter has ended.


my life has actually just begun.

BE STILL

a brand new start is all we need to mend these hearts back to the beginning. be still, let it go. you don't have to be brave. every time we fall, we are falling from grace. i'll gladly climb your walls if you'll meet me halfway.

here's my hand and my heart. it's yours to take.

WE ALL PON SCHOOL

the first day of school

sharlene: edison, sheryl said she's not coming to school.
edison: why? i thought she said she won't pon liao.
sharlene: she said she fainted in the bus. hahaha.
edison: hahahaha omg.

the $%^& day of school

sharlene: edison, lay said he's not coming to school.
edison: why? he fainted too?
sharlene: no, he said his flesh is missing. haha.
edison: hahahaha. omg.



the %^&* day in school

sharlene: edison, sheryl is not coming to school today.
edison: huh? why? she fainted again?
sharlene: no. she said her ceiling fell.

omg.

FAMILY

i never quite understood why we always leave the most important people behind.

right now at this moment, i just remembered.

how much i love them.

THE CIRCULAR MOVEMENT THAT CAUSES HEADACHE

sometimes you twirl round in circles and you thought for once, you're headed towards somewhere. you wake up standing at the same spot, twirling round in circles all over again.

i guess it sucks big time, trapped in this vicious cycle.

my head feels so heavy like i'm filled with thoughts that i cannot empty. like they are a burden i have to carry on everyday, it gets so tiring. i feel like crying, damn, like a child who just doesn't know why he has to go through the pain he's feeling now.

maybe that's why, i'm feeling so down once again.

i don't understand much about things, seriously, i thought i did. i'm so affected by what the world expects of me. i think i can't breathe because i'm so expecting myself of trying to be someone else.

life's hard because i can't live it casually.

a moment of truth just strucked my head and i woke up, feeling foolish. like i have been running in a race that i never could win. a forceful blow into my face, telling me.

edison, wake up.

because in the end, it doesn't even matter.

i don't really care what happens but i'm still hoping for the perfect scenerio that life can give. i want to never wake up to the cruelty of this reality and remain silent in this delusion.

sucks, someone's gonna scold me again.

THE GREY SKIES

i stand in amidst the people, looking at their familiar faces.
my heart's aching, i see them weeping silently.

the sky was grey; he told us not to walk on the road without our shoes.
he made it rain today, so we won't have to walk on the tar painfully.

a good man, he was. a legacy he left behind for everyone.
we can remember the times when he joked, teased the little ones.

the times when everyone will come, every weekend.
those were the things he treasured. family ties.

he'll always be remembered.
a good man, he was.

the legacy he left behind.

THE PERFECT PEOPLE IN THE WORLD

people aren't perfect, but that doesn't stop us from striving to be right? i guess i'm one of those people who is constantly trying to be better. however, i guess i am also one of those that steers away from the disciplined route and deviate away from my main course.

i often feel tortured by my own sins. i guess it's a knot that i have to learn, and must, admit that i have to undo it someday. it's hard because you're moving away from your comfort zone. i like the way things are now, but part of me knows that i desire for challenges.

i want to be better. i want to do better than what i am doing now. the aims, the goals i'd set for myself, i want to achieve them by my hard work and perserverance.

i guess living without a purpose is hard. sometimes, it's so stagnant you feel as if you were dead. maybe all these goals and aims that i'd set ought to be superficial distractions that stop me from feeling dead. sadly, i know, i am very different from your average edison out there.

sometimes i feel like an alien stucked here where i don't belong. maybe it's a curse for me to see things in a deviated perspective. a perception that very few can understand.

i know what i'm doing and i know how to stop it. but somehow, circumstances challenges you to your limit. and when you crossed it, you really proceed on to the next level.

i guess i've come a very long way. i had been bad, in fact, so bad i hated myself. i guess you could really classify me as an emo kid back then.

well, i do hope that i can enhance my strengths and build on my weaknesses.

i'm striving to be perfect.

i know by the time that i'm dead, i will still not be perfect.

however so, at least, i am so much closer than if i didn't do anything at all.

what a perfectionist!

THE THINGS THAT OUGHT TO BE, THAT FAILED TO MAKE US SEE

finally, a direction
a destination in sight.

it's not by coincidents or chances that choices are made
it's by you who holds the future to your destiny.

internal locus of control, such profound phrase
i guess this is what i have been searching for.
the control to who i am to be
the person i ought to be.

life is not very much about the length,
but pretty much about its breadth.
sometimes, we worry too much about what's gonna happen
whether what ought to happen, will it eventually be

the process of living is tiring
when all you think of is the destination
because it is still so faraway,
you're cheating yourself trying to get there so soon.
you're missing out the "living"
when you are busy getting there.

we often sulk about the things that we don't get
often envy those who possess what we want,
it's because we always chase after the things
that we long for, that our hearts desire
that we neglecte the things that we need
and that we've already gotten
the things that are there for us
that we've always taken for granted.

before we blame life for not giving us
the basics of living
we should really look around us
and thank life for giving the things


that we've already gotten.

KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

we should all take failures with pride in our strides. we should all celebrate the wonderful failures that may one day become successes. people learn from their mistakes and from then on become better people. we pretty much learn nothing from successes, don't you think?

HEROES.

there was a time when we all believed in heroes. the time when we stared up at the skies dreaming of having superpowers. i wished that i had angel's wings so i could fly amongst the clouds into the blue.

i dreamt that i flew past new york city staring down at the endless flow of cars that resembled marching ants from my perspective. people so tiny you can barely see them moving. the mountains so peaceful. the fields so green, sparkling like gold in the setting sun.

if there was a chance, a possiblity of us possessing a kind of power.

what would yours be?

RETRIEVE.

i'm feeling the need to grow up again. it's like i've been restraining my thoughts by flooding my daily routines with wholesome plays. i guess i've reached my saturation point. again.

all good things have to come to an end. the ignorance act doesn't work anymore, for now.

school's starting real soon. it is a turning point for me since i'd not been a very good student in college. heh. i'm kinda anticipating the homework, projects and exams.

i guess i'm kinda lost for a while. it took quite a few incidents to wake me up. well, guess it's time to pick up the pieces.

i wanna be good.

seriously.

TAKE HIM.

for you i will.

as we all looked into the skies that are blued ever so beautifully by the reflection of the seas that covered earth mostly, i can't help but wonder if there will be a silver lining behind this already-so-bright scenery.

i wish for a miracle.

sometimes we stare into the mirror for hours, looking at the person looking back at you. sometimes i realised, i don't know him at all. he looks so familiar, yet i never felt close to him. he's a distant reflection of the reflection of my true self. i no longer remember who he is.

he needs to leave.

i wish i could stab myself in the heart, bleed, and die. yes it's emo. no, i'm not acting. it's just that we all reach a point in life when you are so choked, you can't breathe. no, you can't step back and take a breather. i'm standing in the middle of a future of poison and a retreat of death.

somebody, take me away.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

no one can take you away from me.

MY GIRLFRIEND

it's a winning streak,
a moment of victory that boosted his ego
he's a singular past tense of a plural future

maybe lessons ought to be learnt
what is the rightfully wrong thing that life brought us?
the benefit of the doubts.

a crystal clear view of the insatiable crave
for the only reason to believe
that one is in love because he ought to be.

the crusts that fell onto the ground
one would not noticed unless you're stringent
enough to not leave anything out.

a thrust into the chest
left the heart dead,
i guess no amount of revival potion
can revive this

leave it all behind

yeah, i want your girlfriend.

PURSUIT

it's as if i'm trying to reach into this abyss of endless darkness
in search of your heart.

sometimes in the dead silence of the night
when i lie alone in bed,
i think about us
the past, the present, the future.

i guess it is a time like this
when i retreat into the hollow pretense
of truth, hoping to see through something
i wish not to see

how far will you go with me?

i know you love me,
but why can't this facade of mine
that i put up for you be placed down

again and again,
my heart is broken.

and you don't know what it really means
to be me.

it's not the importance of the certain things
that happened or never did,
it is the symbolic meaning of every single one of them

we all speak of scars being the very existence
of why we avoid the obvious
and yet, so many a time
how many of us did take the risk
again and again.

it may be a mere heartbreak,
or simply a broken promise.

but the adverse, disastrous beginning
begins again and again.

when will we learn?

i guess, we never will.

PROPAGATION

if there was a way to show how much you mean to me
it's probably so complicated, it's impossible to comprehend
however so, deep in my heart, you're so important, i think
i'll probably die if i were to leave you.

the crack in the mirror wasn't an incidental issue
rather, it is a significant one that reminds us of one another

so many people entered and leave our lives
opportunities were taken, but that don't promise an end
likewise we all fall, there are times when these are crucial
for without a loss, there will never be a treasured gain.

in possession of an item, only forces one to lose control
for an item can never be yours, someone can take it away
but if you belong to the item, there is the difference
for it's you it longs for, it's you it'll stay.

everyone wishes that sadness was temporary
they cry because happiness is period
you've got an inch, but you're asking for a mile

there will never be something that truly emplifies your truth
for the truth doesn't stay true, at least, not for long.

irony that rules, contradictions that survived
the improper behavior is what truly last
something that no one can ever propagate right.

SOLITAIRE

like a song without words, the melody was played in my head

i wonder if you'd ever noticed when i was hearing it

sometimes when you looked into my eyes, i wonder

if you could really see the sparkle of hope in them.

we all have cried for all kinds of reasons

i think i'd cried because of the foolish ones

but right here in my heart, i still think of you

and i will stare up at the sky thinking

if you were thinking of me too.

i love you, spoken probably a millionth time.

but i still mean it. every single word in it.

and if there was chances like those that happened in fairytales

i hope it will always happen to us, right here in reality.

like faith that we hold on to, desperately clinging on us for life.

we cling on to faith as though it was our beacon of light.

symbolic existence between love and hate,

is one that always awed the people who never understands.

a quiet breath you exhaled into my neck

a gentle caress of your hands on my face.

the sweet kiss you give me on my forehead,

the way you hugged me like i was going away.

the sweet words that bind us

will always stay.