THEY CALL IT A SOLITUDE BLISS

there are some things in life that we just can't seem to figure out. like why the lush roses have thorns and why pigs don't fly. most of the time we stare at the sky and wonder what exactly is the actual color of it. the sky is dark most of the time, but why aren't the stars shining as vividly as before when the cities were still quiet. we wish for the simplest thing in life but how many of them actually come true. the only reason why we live on is because we're still waiting for our wish to be liven.

in my world, roses don't have thorns and pigs fly. that's all because of you.

MY SAVIOUR

like a silent sorrow that creeps in the dark. i am haunted by what we all known as guilt. it attacks your conscience, makes you feel vulnerable to justice. you plead for forgiveness, but you receive null.

a thousand words that pierced your heart as your ego is smashed. like a crystal mug that was filled with the water of life. they sink into the sands, never having a second chance to return.

there are times when you pray for someone to heal your broken heart, however long you wait, they never seem to be there.

maybe you're cursed like what they had said about you. life for you is a punishment, you live to repent.

if there is a way out, death might be the only. however hard you try, something saves you. you'll never get out of this.

when all you wish for is for a savior who would take all these pain away. at the end of the day, you cry in the night alone because,

the savior you wish for will never come.

THE DAY HAS FINALLY ARRIVED

ORD LOH

it's amazing how time seriously flies. it felt like yesterday when i enlisted. haha crap. it's been a fuckin' long time alright whaha. ns is boring shit. hahahaha.

but all thanks to all my basic training squadmates like matthew, gerald. npco squadmates like seng khng, johnson, kian siang. team c collegues like everybody in the team esp iskandar who taught me the reins of being an npco in pasir ris, fadli and nazrul for looking out for me.

thank God for letting me cross the paths of these awesome people. of coz, life still goes on. and crap, it's time to grow up. haha.

a levels coming up and i'll make sure i work out something 'bout it. winsty's right, i hear ya bro. i'm making sure i don't waste time anymore. time's too precious to waste. and it's really time i start treasuring what i've always took for granted.

i wanna say a big thank you to fel, my ultimate best friend, whom i think is the only one in this world who knows me inside out. i love you girl. i really can't live without you. ahhahaha.

to all my brothers whom had made my life complete. heh i'll make sure i treat all of you better from now on. love you loads bros.

to all that cares to read my blog. thanks for always being here with me through my darkest and lowest point in life. i might not see you or hear you often, but sincerely. thank you for taking notice of me. =)

to my mum, dad and sis. sorry ah i know i haven't been home often due to work and play. haha. i love you guys so much.

and to the very special person in my life. i have been blogging about you ever since i've known you. haha. i guess you just don't realised it. =) i love you dear.

take care peeps. ciaoz.

BRAINSTORM

this isn't a juvenile conflict we ought to overlook. at least, it's time to face it. you can't solve it if you'd never faced it. you can never overcome it if all you do is run.

i hate it. i fucking hate this. why does it always go back to square one when i'd proceeded with it so well. fucking brains and analysis. somebody shoot me in the head.

i wished somebody could tell me what to do. or has everybody told me what to do so many times i just don't agree to them. that's why i'm still stuck in this predicament.

how can i lose this war when i've come this far. how can i give up?

i must win this war. i must win this war. i must win.

i'll win this time.

THE ORCHESTRA

we all live like muted trumpets for sometimes we cannot play in our true sound in certain pieces in our lives. a symphony requires the whole unique blend of each and every individual instrument and there are times when we will have to mute the trumpets if that is the sound required.

we have to sacrifice the small things to accomplish something greater.

likewise in life, there are times when we have to mute ourselves (not literally) in order to fit into society. however, it doesn't mean we aren't ourselves anymore.

we're simply more reserved.

the choices in life come in hordes of sudden waves. we have to decide so quickly we often regret our decision. we think too much, bother too much about other factors that we failed to realise what the heart really wants. most of the time, all we have to do is follow our hearts.

cliche, but so true.

i believe we all only have a hundred years to live. i guess for every single moment to me is a gift from God who want me to make the best out of every one of them. i love the things God have given me in life.

He have given me the best i could receive.

i see heaven when i close my eyes.
when i close my eyes, i see you.