FAMILY

i never quite understood why we always leave the most important people behind.

right now at this moment, i just remembered.

how much i love them.

THE CIRCULAR MOVEMENT THAT CAUSES HEADACHE

sometimes you twirl round in circles and you thought for once, you're headed towards somewhere. you wake up standing at the same spot, twirling round in circles all over again.

i guess it sucks big time, trapped in this vicious cycle.

my head feels so heavy like i'm filled with thoughts that i cannot empty. like they are a burden i have to carry on everyday, it gets so tiring. i feel like crying, damn, like a child who just doesn't know why he has to go through the pain he's feeling now.

maybe that's why, i'm feeling so down once again.

i don't understand much about things, seriously, i thought i did. i'm so affected by what the world expects of me. i think i can't breathe because i'm so expecting myself of trying to be someone else.

life's hard because i can't live it casually.

a moment of truth just strucked my head and i woke up, feeling foolish. like i have been running in a race that i never could win. a forceful blow into my face, telling me.

edison, wake up.

because in the end, it doesn't even matter.

i don't really care what happens but i'm still hoping for the perfect scenerio that life can give. i want to never wake up to the cruelty of this reality and remain silent in this delusion.

sucks, someone's gonna scold me again.

THE GREY SKIES

i stand in amidst the people, looking at their familiar faces.
my heart's aching, i see them weeping silently.

the sky was grey; he told us not to walk on the road without our shoes.
he made it rain today, so we won't have to walk on the tar painfully.

a good man, he was. a legacy he left behind for everyone.
we can remember the times when he joked, teased the little ones.

the times when everyone will come, every weekend.
those were the things he treasured. family ties.

he'll always be remembered.
a good man, he was.

the legacy he left behind.

THE PERFECT PEOPLE IN THE WORLD

people aren't perfect, but that doesn't stop us from striving to be right? i guess i'm one of those people who is constantly trying to be better. however, i guess i am also one of those that steers away from the disciplined route and deviate away from my main course.

i often feel tortured by my own sins. i guess it's a knot that i have to learn, and must, admit that i have to undo it someday. it's hard because you're moving away from your comfort zone. i like the way things are now, but part of me knows that i desire for challenges.

i want to be better. i want to do better than what i am doing now. the aims, the goals i'd set for myself, i want to achieve them by my hard work and perserverance.

i guess living without a purpose is hard. sometimes, it's so stagnant you feel as if you were dead. maybe all these goals and aims that i'd set ought to be superficial distractions that stop me from feeling dead. sadly, i know, i am very different from your average edison out there.

sometimes i feel like an alien stucked here where i don't belong. maybe it's a curse for me to see things in a deviated perspective. a perception that very few can understand.

i know what i'm doing and i know how to stop it. but somehow, circumstances challenges you to your limit. and when you crossed it, you really proceed on to the next level.

i guess i've come a very long way. i had been bad, in fact, so bad i hated myself. i guess you could really classify me as an emo kid back then.

well, i do hope that i can enhance my strengths and build on my weaknesses.

i'm striving to be perfect.

i know by the time that i'm dead, i will still not be perfect.

however so, at least, i am so much closer than if i didn't do anything at all.

what a perfectionist!

THE THINGS THAT OUGHT TO BE, THAT FAILED TO MAKE US SEE

finally, a direction
a destination in sight.

it's not by coincidents or chances that choices are made
it's by you who holds the future to your destiny.

internal locus of control, such profound phrase
i guess this is what i have been searching for.
the control to who i am to be
the person i ought to be.

life is not very much about the length,
but pretty much about its breadth.
sometimes, we worry too much about what's gonna happen
whether what ought to happen, will it eventually be

the process of living is tiring
when all you think of is the destination
because it is still so faraway,
you're cheating yourself trying to get there so soon.
you're missing out the "living"
when you are busy getting there.

we often sulk about the things that we don't get
often envy those who possess what we want,
it's because we always chase after the things
that we long for, that our hearts desire
that we neglecte the things that we need
and that we've already gotten
the things that are there for us
that we've always taken for granted.

before we blame life for not giving us
the basics of living
we should really look around us
and thank life for giving the things


that we've already gotten.