ME

a soul that longed to be
something bigger than life itself.
where there is a purpose much greater
than living itself.

trapped in a shell he cannot abandon
neither can he find the courage to hold it up high
scars he cannot erase
some things he's desperate to hide.

some people just don't understand
he's rejected because of that.
unhappy with a life that he has
no contentment, some might say.

he is a sinner no one will save
borned into a hopeless world
a superficial world
he cannot let go off.

he long to be somewhere
he can never be.
he'd never accepted himself for someone
whom he really is.

a madman in a mask.
a loser trying to win.
an endless pursuit of honour.
a sinner,

he'll always be.

THE A HUNDRED HOURS A DAY WISH

i really wish that a hundred hours made up a day.

because then i can do whatever i want and be satisfied. really satisfied. whaha. but then again, i'll probably hope that two hundred hours made up a day. oh well.

so make it right, now i have twentyfourhoursaday.

i want to play. i NEED to study. ahhhh i hate to make such choices. it's so obvious what i will choose but i can't!

brrr.

oh man, make it a hundred hours will you?

THAT SUMMER AND THEM

i'm having a freaking bad headache. haha. probably coz i didn't sleep in the proper position just now. lol. i don't know what's going through their heads. i don't know just how important they are to me and how important i am to them. and here you are reading my entry, paying attention to my thoughts, hoping to share a little wisdom with me. but why am i not putting you in the more important piority in my life? am i taking things for granted? sigh i really don't know. when you start trusting people and people changed, that feeling sucked.
BIG TIME. like all of a sudden, you feel stupid and naive. you feel like you're the greatest ass in the world and everyone's laughing at you. ah what a feeling!

maybe i should just do what i've always been doing. hmm haha. i'm too random. can't think of any specific things that i've been doing. oh well. just shoot me in the head and pray for me to go heaven to be with God.

i'll probably end up in hell though.

WHICH CAME FIRST, CHICKEN OR EGG?

i feel like i'm standing outside the circle drawn on the sand. it's dumb looking at chickens fight but can't help it. what's worse?

i feel like joining in. hahaha.

i'm bored. feel so uptight about myself. can't help but envy people who are enjoying their lives while i'm here waiting for my chance. the opportunity. it's peace now. it's in fact bliss too. don't want to lose it. but i want happiness still.

like i always do.

ah chickens fighting, so where's the eggs?

DON'T PEAK AT ME BATHING YOU MORON

there's this thing about contentment, about being happy, about being depressed; they run in a cycle. yes just like a cyclical fluctuation in a business cycle.

the peak and the unpeaked times.

i'm back at the peak having fun with all my friends. dotaing. clubbing. kboxing. animeing. feasting. movieing. ahh. it scares me at times because at the back of my head i know that all these won't last. there will be a time when all these fun will stop because everybody starts getting busy with other stuffs.

once again, life failed to remain permanent.

some people will say if it doesn't change, life will remain stagnant. yes i know but i rather it remain stagnanted at the PEAK.

and when i start thinking again. probably coz when you rest too long at the peak, you get tired and want to get some rest. that's when you start sliding down the slope back in the unpeaked times.

oh well i really wish life is always happy.

like ALWAYS HAPPY.